How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
