I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Pants are for mortals
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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