but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though