; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.