Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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