Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want nice things and good sex
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
