Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
