Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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