Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
