I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
