I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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