Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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