had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
