i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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