Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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