if you like me you must not know who I am
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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