I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
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If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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