She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
