At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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