A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize