I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
These tits shall not be calmed
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize