I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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