these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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