At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the day after is always just damage control
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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