saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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