He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!