FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??