I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs