I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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