Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
