Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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