just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
