The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm too high and old for this...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
