You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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