And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
