this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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