your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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