i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
