sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
