I'm jealous of your bromance
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
