party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
