2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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