on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
