Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
