This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
