I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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