I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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