Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
