her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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