3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
