Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
