If i come over, it means nothing
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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