the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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