Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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