just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
