just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
