the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
