can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
