Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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